I know what you’re thinking. She’s finally lost it.

But actually, I found it!

What is ‘it’?

‘It’ is exhilarating. Scary. Adrenaline pumping. Liberating.

‘It’ is learning to not worry about what anyone else says.

Yeah, yeah, we’re all grown-ups, and it’s not supposed to matter by the time we’re adults. With a child in the dreaded fourth grade—that magical time when the outside world starts to take on such huge importance in how you see yourself (and he’s not even in middle school yet!)—I know all the ‘right’ things to say to him when I hear about what everyone else is wearing or doing or watching on TV. With all the attention focused on bullying, it’s ground we cover all the time. Sticks and stones and words and all that.

But sometimes I realize I need to heed to my own ‘right’ advice.

I’m getting better at it, that’s for sure. It comes with the territory of writing an opinion column. The one thing I hear all the time is, “I don’t know how you can stand all the nasty things people say in their comments—whew, you must have some thick skin!”

Yes, sometimes people disagree with what I say so much that an insult is their preferred way of expressing it. Most recently, a column I wrote about the Susan G. Komen For the Cure Foundation and Planned Parenthood made a Weston Patch reader hurl this stink-bomb in my direction:

“I could not possibly, in the number of characters permitted in one comment, even begin to dissect the various inanities, untruths, fictions, willful obfuscations, straw-men, ad hominem arguments, bigotries, propagandas, logical fallacies, self-beclownings, misuses of vocabulary, and divorces from reality that Ms. Borden Herve has rather impressively managed to shoehorn into a little over one thousand words. Hers is, in fact, an awesome feat, and one worthy of recognition, if nothing more.”

To be honest, the only thing that stung was the three-word phrase, “misuses of vocabulary.” I’m pretty sure I said what I meant and I meant what I said, and there weren’t any grammatical goofs or violations of vocabulary usage!

And to be sure, the man was entitled to disagree with what I asserted in the column, and he is just as free to express it. The barbs are simply the price to pay for prompting great discussions and connections for readers on many topics I’ve covered. Different opinions are what make the world go ‘round.

But what’s just as important is to remember that a sense of humor about oneself goes a long way to helping the world keep moving forward too.

In the aftermath of the aforementioned critic’s criticism, a couple friends and I connected on Facebook to make light about what he said. We narrowed in on the phrase “self-beclownings,” trying to figure out exactly what that was.

“Is that when one takes off one's red nose in public?” said one.

“Perhaps,” I replied, “it’s when you put the clown wig ON.”

So in a bit of fun, I grabbed the clown wig we had in my kids’ costume bin, snapped this picture, and sent it to them. But I consciously decided not to put the picture up for everyone to see—I kept it private for just a couple friends.

But then I thought, why? Was it vanity or embarrassment that made me shy about sharing such a goofy shot of myself with my wider circle of friends and acquaintances? Why couldn’t I laugh at myself in front of a larger audience?

I’ve written before about making your kids embarrassed as a way to teach them to not take things so seriously, and that a sense of humor goes a long way. So it was time for a dose of my own medicine.

It helps me not take myself so seriously sometimes, especially when serious self-consciousness and self-awareness is part of my job description. It’s actually empowering to be able to laugh at myself and actually encourage everyone else to be in on the joke.

I’m learning that it keeps me strong in the face of what those critics are trying to accomplish: intimidation, with a dose of fear and shame, thinking maybe I’ll retreat.

If I can laugh at myself, there’s not much someone else can say or do to make me feel the fool. When we can recognize the humor about ourselves, it takes away the power from someone trying to knock you down.

And that is something to make you smile.