By Arthur H. Gunther
thecolumnrule.com
columnrule.blogspot.com
While very few Rocklanders of the 1940s and ‘50s -- in a rural county north of New York City -- used the word “stoop,” we understood what it was like to sit on porch steps. As in Gotham, where such was a major past time as well as educational and social opportunity, more than a neighborly nod was to be had.
My grandfather met his wife in 1920, sitting on his steps, across from the lady who would become my grandmother. In Spring Valley, where I largely grew up, the same couple had a house at 14 Ternure Ave. that included a small side porch, and every grandchild sat for a photograph. It was one of the places where I could day-dream.
In Hillcrest, my mother had conversation with her neighbor Irene almost every day in good weather, choosing the front steps to pass an hour or two. Irene was from Manhattan, and she told us how on hot summer nights the entire neighborhood would be out on their “stoops” to get some air but also to connect. A few feet away, their children would be bouncing a ball or jumping rope, and every parent was also the parent of each child in the take-care-of-each-other-neighborhood.
Some of that passed to the suburbs, too, as Gothamites moved out, though not every house had front steps, nor were the homes as close together, and neighborhoods were more anonymous. Eventually, any front step-sitting gave way to the backyard patios of the later 1950s and then the decks of the 1970s and now the outside “rooms” of 2012, with huge barbecues, fire pits, hard and soft landscaping and water features, almost oases apart from the world.
In an earlier Rockland, most homes had front porches, and swings on them. That was where grandmothers knitted, couples dated and everyone waited for the mailman. Those porches and their steps became observation posts for the passing scene, and as with the stoops of the cities, places to think things through or to share confidences over worries and fears, joys and dreams. Both past times provided emotional and social reinforcement and learning experiences.
In a world that seems more isolated and which since 2001 appears on edge, perhaps we could do with a few more porches, steps and stoops and some neighborly visits.
--Art
Now wouldn't that be a neat way to enjoy our lost youth? And BTW, No girls allowed.
With a history like that, I think we can easily make an exception. And if the "Guys" don't like it, they can take their sticks and go home. So there. Welcome to the team that doesn't exist. But I be we can beat the Boulders and don't "need no expensive stadium" for that.
Before air conditioning, people gathered outside and that so-called work week (which was for primarily a male thing) was not so long in summer months because everyone was miserably hot at the office building and often went home early. So says my grandad...where they then gathered on the stoop, had a beer, smoked, sang, chatted about politics and knew each other quite intimately. It sounds to me a far better time, and higher quality of life than we have today. But I am a realist and expect no one to give up air conditioning to make a new friend or two....
Just read your comment Re: no nasty replies, for once. Perhaps a piece on the whys and reasons for just such poor behavior. This type of reaction is a growing problem here in the county.
You learn a lot thru street play ... a lot about truth, friendship, fair play and good ol' competition. You also learn humility ... and how to say you're sorry. And a kid can find out what they're good at ... and what they're not so good at. But most of all, those kids learn to be creative and independent. And they learn to solve all sorts of problems ... from bullying to poor sportsmanship ... all by themselves ... without parents hovering like helicopters and wrecking a perfect great time.