The Republican Party's 'Inspector Clouseau'?

[WARNING: THIS BLOG IS SATIRICAL.  IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE READING FOR INTELLIGENT ADULTS]

Legislator Sparaco: When these corrupt proposals were made to me I didn't know what to do, how to handle it. I reported to my role model, Chairman Reda, who taught me things ....  When I don't know what to do I go to Vinny .... 
Chairman Reda: You should wear a wire .....

Braithwaite: Clouseau, trust no one. The viper in our bosom could be anyone. Inspector Clouseau: I suspect everyone!
Braithwaite: You will report what you find only to me. 
Inspector Clouseau: And what makes you think I trust you?

Disloyalty?  What does the word mean in Clarkstown's politics when the son of the former 2013 Republican candidate for the position of Supervisor of the Town of Clarkstown, Ralph Riverso, was out collecting signatures on the Independence Party's legal racket line for his father's opponent, Supervisor Gromack?

The wheels are continuing to come off the Clarkstown Republican Party under the leadership of Chairmen Reda and Axelrod and Legislator Sparaco. In the Journal News on July 18, 2013 is an article entitled "Borelli faces party discipline in Clarkstown for backing Democrat Malone", Clarkstown Republican Chairman Axelrod states: 

“We have a disloyalty clause in our by-laws. If any elected official is supporting another candidate, that is grounds for dismissal from the Republican committee".

The Journal News writer, Hema Easley, went on to point out that the Republican Party's Frank Sparaco openly supported Gromack, a Democrat, in the 2011 race for Supervisor of Clarkstown. Fliers showed images of the two men cohorting and cavorting at several locations in Clarkstown; the headline touted the two men as putting party politics aside to work for Clarkstown. Sparaco then posed for a picture during the 2011 election season showing him, with Gromack and Reda at a Bronx restaurant, interpreted by many as signaling the GOP was not supporting its candidate, Sabatini.  Sabatini lost to Gromack.

Axelrod had an explanation for Sparaco's support in 2011 of candidates other than those associated with the Republican party - it involved "acting". 

Is "Acting" Legislator Sparaco's other 'part-time' job which he performs in his spare time during his 'part-time' job as Constituent Services Representative in Ballard's Highway Department? Does he dream of stardom as a modern-day Peter Sellers having auditioned the 'Inspector Clouseau' role for the FBI?

The Director perhaps suppressed a smile apparently unimpressed when he viewed the audition tapes and moved on to the next wannabe leaving Sparaco mystified and mortified vaingloriously declaring: “What is said on the tapes is theatrics -I’m acting!”

Inspector Clouseau: [shouting] You'll soon be laughing at the other side of my face, my friend! 
Axelrod used Sparaco's new skill to say that there was "speculation" about Sparaco’s actions in 2011 supporting Gromack over Sabatini, but nothing had been proved. He said Sparaco "may have been acting" as an Independence Party representative who was "mingling" with Gromack.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Clarkstown Republican Party's by-laws, what Axelrod was referring to with his "mingling" reference is the "stupidity clause" that permits the 'Inspector Clouseaus' of his party to have $75,000 part time jobs answering the telephones or $87,000 tax cert jobs filing forms in Democrat Gromack's administration on the taxpayers time and dime.  

Axelrod may not be aware there is a "surreptitious clause" in the Republican Party's by-laws that apparently permits "acting" to be conducted without the permission of the Clarkstown Town Board or the FBI's prior knowledge. But then in Axelrod's defense one might argue that Supervisor Gromack, as the putative head of the Clarkstown Town Board, should have had foreknowledge of Sparaco's foreplay given that in the King of Diamond's absence he is nominally in charge of the Town Government and what goes on with its staff.  

Axelrod may continue to shine in his role as Chairman of the Republican Party's Thespian Affairs following the rave reviews his up and coming neophyte was given for the performance in Sex, Lies and Videotape.  Perhaps, however, he should now moderate his hopes of future stardom for his 'mingler' given the recent 'Clouseauean' audition. That performance has all but extinguished the hopes previously held by the best of Clarkstown's theatre critics.  

Sparaco's move from the dramatic to the comedic may have been splenetic but as the real Inspector Clouseau remarked in the 1963 movie 'The Pink Panther':  

"There is a time to laugh and a time not to laugh and this is not one of them." 

Michael N. Hull is a retired senior citizen who writes opinion pieces on local political issues. He is presently a Director of Clarkstown Residents Opposing Patronage (CROP) with Tom Nimick and Ralph Sabatini and is President of the Residents Association of Bardonia. Hull is assisting in setting up the 'Preserve Rockland' election line so that the electorate may be offered an alternative slate of candidates for the 2013 local elections. The Clarkstown Preservation Society, a grassroots citizens group, plans to run candidates for Clarkstown Town Supervisor, Town Board, Highway Superintendent, and for the County Executive’s race on the 'Preserve Rockland' line.  Ed Day will run for County Executive.  Brian T. Moran, a New City resident and a business owner in Nyack, will run against Clarkstown Supervisor Alex Gromack. John Noto will run against Hausner and Dennis Malone will challenge Wayne Ballard for Highway Superintendent.