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Crying My Way Through Graduation

Negotiating the bittersweet experience of watching our babies graduate high school.

 

It’s only two days till my daughter Lissie’s high school graduation from Clarkstown North on Friday. I’ve been crying off and on for the entire month of June. Any little thing will set me off—the sight of a little girl in the supermarket who looks just like Lissie did at that age, watching Lissie laugh with her friends at graduation parties and comprehending that they’re each going their separate ways soon, seeing all of the gorgeous seniors dressed for their prom, even shopping in the grocery store and realizing soon I won’t need to buy her favorite foods.

And then there were the June Balloons, a fabulous fundraiser/tradition where people buy balloons for a graduate of Clarkstown North, Clarkstown South or Nyack High School. Bouquets of balloons then dance on the mailboxes, fence posts and ceramic planters of homes across town congratulating the graduate who lives there. Yesterday, after all of the balloons were distributed, I found myself taking the long way home so I could see as many of the students as possible being celebrated. I gave each one a cheer as I passed (thankfully, my kids were not in the car to be embarrassed by this!).

I’m so proud of these kids. I’ve known many of them since kindergarten and I’ve watched them transition from picking the grass at kindergarten t-ball games to hitting home runs in Zukor Park to deciding they actually didn’t want to play baseball in high school. I was a Girl Scout leader with Linda Brinkman and Cookie Erardy for five years at Little Tor and I’m thrilled to see the girls who did food drives, entertained senior citizens and went on hikes now leading similar activities of their own.

My husband and I have danced with them at their Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and Sweet 16s and cried with them through family losses.  We’ve watched them dance the Nutcracker, celebrated their ski race wins and consoled them when they didn’t make the team or get the part in the school play. On Friday, we’ll watch them don their graduation robes and officially become high school graduates. I’ve viewed from a distance as other classes have marked this milestone, but now that I’m seeing it from so close, it’s taken on a whole new, deeper meaning.

The past 13 years are a blur. Wasn’t it yesterday they were parading onto the Little Tor stage for their Fifth Grade Moving Up ceremony and we were walking them around Felix Festa on a hot August afternoon so they wouldn’t be worried about finding their new middle school classes? Didn’t we just put Lissie on the bus for that first time in kindergarten, her favorite doll tucked secretly into her backpack? I keep thinking about the lyrics to Joni Mitchell’s song, “The Circle Game,” as I want to “drag my feet to slow the circle down.”

Today I booked our flights to Wisconsin to take Lissie to school in August. After reserving the round-trip tickets for Mat and me, it hit me—Lissie only needed a one-way ticket. Yes, the tears started flowing again.

I am bringing a giant box of Kleenex to the graduation ceremony on Friday.

Congratulations to the Class of 2012!

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Kathleen May 21, 2013 at 08:55 am
CANDLE Night at the Rockland Boulders Game Join CANDLE for a fun(d)raising game on May 23rd as theRead More Rockland Boulders take on the Trois-Rivieres Aigles. Proceeds from tickets purchased through CANDLE* will support programs that educate & empower youth and reduce substance abuse and violence in Rockland County and beyond.
Heywood Jablohme May 21, 2013 at 02:48 pm
I agree with most of your points, but surely you are not implying that teachers are expected toRead More produce funding to correct school roofs, right? I think you got a bit off topic here, but I agree that our educational infrastructure is in disrepair and is in desperate need of rehabilitation. Maybe if our teacher's unions allowed a little more leeway we could allocate funding a little more appropriately and fund the important things instead of overpaying paying dinosaur teachers who lost interest a long time ago and fight any and all forms of teacher benchmarking.
WGMom May 20, 2013 at 09:10 am
It's entirely true that every professional has out-of-pocket expenses. But as someone who worked asRead More a corporate trainer, I can guarantee you I NEVER had to pay out of pocket expenses for supplies to teach classes. Every piece of paper, supply, and even snacks for the participants were fully covered expenses. If I had to spend out of pocket money to procure supplies, I could submit for a reimbursement, and receive it, no questions asked. I am now in school to become a high school teacher and I can see the stark difference in how the education of folks in a corporate environment is incredibly different, and privileged, than the public school environment. I've sat through numerous classes in the Clarkstown and Ramapo districts, doing observations required for my education certification, and while Clarkstown certainly benefits from certain advantages, the shabbiness of being a public school is still there. Furniture, such as teacher desks, that looks like it was purchased in a garage sale 30 years ago... faculty bathrooms that are dark and dingy, nearly crumbling, and sorely in need of updating. Etc. The public expects teachers to have professional training, act professionally, but they lack sometimes basic resources and are expected to function in an environment that feels more like a dungeon than an institution of learning. The citizens of Clarkstown, if they could get a tour of some of the facilities they are expecting children to learn in, and teachers to teach in, would be very surprised. We do supply some great technology, but then we put it in classrooms with windows that won't stay closed when it's windy, as one example. I spent most of my time in South, which is the best of the bunch, facilities-wise. Clarkstown North is a mess, Woodglen's woods are littered with fallen trees no one's cleaned up after Sandy, Laurel Plains had to be shuttered thanks to that whole foul stench... the district is in a situation where there are major capital improvements that are going to be needed. Buildings are aging, and it seems it's only the most basic of upkeep that happens. The district can't even fix the roofs of the buildings without applying for a state grant.
Heywood Jablohme May 18, 2013 at 07:17 am
What professional doesn't spend $500 per year on out of pocket expenses related to their jobs?Read More Staples offering 10% (or 5 in some cases) is hardly an example of the community getting involved. Thankfully, there are other examples of the community and PTA's getting involved and providing needed services. Clarkstown and surrounding areas hardly have substantial unmet needs in their classroom, thankfully.